


Message in the Veil

by kalkoenvsneoklak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Hunters, F/M, Facebook, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Married Couple, Minor Character Death, before the story though, but still kind of hunters, ghost!Jimmy, married Sam/Sarah, retired!Mary, vaguely written sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 23:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2750942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalkoenvsneoklak/pseuds/kalkoenvsneoklak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel starts to receive messages from his dead brother, he thinks it's just a sick prank.<br/>When he keeps on getting messages, he thinks he's going crazy</p>
            </blockquote>





	Message in the Veil

**Author's Note:**

> So I once found a post on facebook which I accidentally click on, and suddenly I found myself at this website which gave me inspiration to this story.  
> I had started written this story back in July, but I didn't like it. Dean and Cas weren't together, Sam as a retired hunter and Dean still hunted, and I had no idea what I was going to do with the story.  
> Yesterday I picked up the story again, and started rewriting. Let's just say that what I wrote in seven pages in the previous version took twenty-seven pages in the new version.  
> It's not a wonderfully written story, the ending might be a bit crappy and I apologize for that. I'm actually crawling through schoolwork and had to finish this or I would never start with actual homework... So, yeah, two days of intensive writing later and here we are.  
> Also, I'm not used to write sexual content, so I'm sorry, but it's not fully written in detail how everything happens. Though I did put more work into it compared to my previous story.
> 
> Anyway, unbeta'd, so any mistakes are my own.

Based on [this](http://www.tickld.com/x/this-guys-facebook-inbox-has-everybody-terrified) post

 

 

* * *

 

 

June 16th

One week.

It has only been one week.

Castiel looks up to the sky as he walks on the ground of the graveyard, purposefully ignoring the looks he receives from the people who came to say goodbye to Jimmy. He’s not ready for their looks, nor will he probably ever be.

Next to Castiel, Dean walks along with him, their hands not leaving once. Since they carried Jimmy out of the church, their fingers have found each other, and Castiel can’t possibly handle letting go now.

Not now.

Sam marches right behind the couple, accompanied by Sarah, who’s wearing a beautiful black dress that should have earned compliments if it weren’t such a sad occasion.

There’s a hole in the ground, made by the gravediggers that morning. Castiel and his mother both made sure that Jimmy would be buried next to their father.

It seems too small; no way would Jimmy fit in there. But it also seems too big, too deep, and not deep enough. Castiel’s mind starts to go crazy, thoughts going around and around, counter speaking everything he’s stating.

New tears roll down from his eyes, wetting his cheek again as he comes to a stop in front of the hole in the ground. He’s standing between his mother and Dean, giving them both a short look before catching the coffin with his eyes again.

Is it awful to say that it’s a beautiful day for a funeral? Is there even a type of day for funerals? Mostly, on TV, they’re windy in autumn, or it’s a heavy rain day. Sometimes, to romanticize things, it’s even snowing. But never has the sun ever shone from the sky, if Castiel remembers correctly. Then of course, why should he believe movies? Those characters are often sad for a few minutes and then it’s suddenly three years later.

If only there’s a way to skip the years of grief coming ahead of them and just jump forward to three years later. Would he and Dean still be married? Would they have adopted? Would Jimmy be happy to have a little niece or nephew?

It takes him seeing the coffin being lowered in the hole to remember that Jimmy wouldn’t even have a chance to become an uncle.

Castiel eyes the crowd for a moment, seeing a few of Jimmy’s friends and old classmates. He even finds Amelia standing there. She and Jimmy were just starting to date for a few weeks. And now she’s all alone again.

They share a little look for a moment, a silent understanding of grief when they nod at each other. Castiel had liked Amelia, but now he knows that she wouldn’t stay around here for longer.

At the end of the funeral there’s the usual banquet. Everybody leaves for Mrs. Novak’s house, where the old widow lives. The remaining members of the Novak-family are being greeted by old and new friends. Some people they don’t even know come up to them, revealing that they’re old classmates from college.

Dean is a constant presence to his side, and somehow, it helps him get through the day. When Castiel’s mouth dries up and he’s left unable to speak, Dean speaks for him. When something comes up and makes Castiel remember Jimmy leaving him unable to move, Dean moves for him. They don’t need words to understand each other, because they’re that much more now.

And that evening when they’re in bed, Dean’s chest is the place Castiel finally cries out against for the first time since Jimmy’s death.

 

July 20th

Castiel could only wish it gets a little easier, but to be honest, it doesn’t. He’s still going to bed every night, waiting for Jimmy to call him and tell him about his day. He’s still expecting the man to come through his door around noon to grab lunch together and then making a leave to get back to work.

But Jimmy isn’t coming, and Castiel finds himself alone in the house when Dean is working most of the day. As a writer, it should be good that he has no strict hours to follow when it comes to working, but in all honesty he doesn’t find anything to write about. All his stories have left him, and though he can’t claim that he’s unhappy, he needs to find the actual happiness again.

When Castiel logs on to the computer – which is now actually his only way of making social contacts with others – he’s greeted with a lot of notifications that have appeared on his profile. That happens a lot lately, old friends of Jimmy’s that look up old pictures of them together and send their regrets to the family. Castiel answers every one of them as friendly as he can before his cursor clicks on Jimmy’s name, opening up his page.

Seeing Jimmy’s happy profile picture is just as painful as it has been right after he died. Castiel is confronted with an image that he knows will never return, and it makes him choke for a minute, unable to breathe as he tries to swallow away his urge to cry.

Castiel can remember the night Jimmy died quite well; he was going home from their mother’s, and he had insisted on driving in his own car instead of carpooling – something about having to pick up Amelia afterwards or whatever.

It had been a drunk driver who ignored the red light that took out Jimmy’s life, including another one. The driver crashed against two cars, and somehow he managed to survive until he arrived at the hospital. The driver of the second car now lies in the hospital, paralyzed from his lower body. Jimmy had died right on the impact, his neck snapping from the blow.

When Castiel and his mother came in to identify the body, Jimmy had been unrecognizable; his face blue, completely swollen and covered in cuts. If he would have somehow survived, he would still have lost his leg, which got practically destroyed between the two cars.

If only it were simply the leg, Castiel still thinks. Jimmy could have lived without his leg without any complaining, claiming that he was destined to survive.

But he hadn’t. He hadn’t been destined to survive. And now Castiel has to continue without his twin brother around him.

Castiel is glad that he still has Dean. His husband is a great comfort for him, and who knows what could have happened if he had to suffer through this grief alone.

The writer looks up as the front door opens, and he manages a fake smile at seeing Dean. He reaches out his hand as soon as Dean closes the door behind him, and after Dean hangs up his leather jacket, he walks up straight to Castiel, holding him close again.

“How was your day?” Castiel asks with a shivering voice. It’s only to lighten the pressure a bit, so he’s glad when Dean simply answers the question.

“It was fine, I guess,” he says, pressing a soft kiss against Castiel’s hair and pulling him even closer against him. Castiel closes his eyes as he takes in the warmth coming from Dean. “Nothing special happened, a few crappy cars, a few new asshole customers, you know how it goes.”

They pull apart for a little bit, but they still have their arms wrapped around each other. Their eyes stay glued togeher, and Dean starts humming when he presses his nose against Castiel’s again.

“Did you at least get out today?” he asks lowly, inspecting Castiel’s face for his response. There’s no way he could hide it at all; he can’t even lie to Dean.

“No, I wanted to write, but nothing really came out,” Castiel confesses, tangling their fingers together and kissing Dean lightly on the lips. “I guess I got lost in my thoughts.”

Dean nods quietly, but doesn’t speak, which Castiel can live with. They let go of each other after another minute of snuggling. Dean leaves for the kitchen to get some dinner ready, and Castiel sits himself back down on the couch to watch some TV. When his phone rings, he sighs loudly and gets back up.

The call with his mother takes about an hour, and it’s heavy as always. Castiel understands that losing a child is one of the worst feelings in the world, and he hopes that he would never get to feel that pain. Losing a brother is already bad enough.

He hangs up when the conversation ends, and he remains standing next to the phone, looking outside the window. The sun is now low above the horizon, at the point of setting. A few neighbors walk by, going home or simply stretching their legs. Castiel can recognize the grumpy Mr. Turner shooing away the neighborhood cat. Then there’s Meg Masters walking out of a black BMW and blowing a kiss at who-ever the driver is.

When Dean calls him for dinner, Castiel gets away from the window and joins Dean at the table. They eat in silence at first, but eventually Dean talks about his co-workers and their latest shenanigans. Castiel has no other story to offer in return, and after they wash up their dishes they drop themselves in the couch to watch some more TV.

Castiel’s back is planted against Dean’s chest as they lie there, and Dean’s hand is busy playing with Castiel’s hair. It’s something he’s always done, and it brings great comfort to Castiel.

“Do you think I should memorialize Jimmy’s page?” Castiel suddenly asks, turning his head slightly in Dean’s direction but unable to look at him. Dean’s other hand grabs Castiel’s, and he laces their fingers together.

“I don’t know, Cas,” he whispered against his head before pressing a light kiss against his hair. “What do _you_ think?”

“I don’t think I can do that just yet,” he admits in a whisper, and he can feel Dean nod behind him.

“Then don’t,” he answers simply, taking Castiel’s hand up and pressing his lips against his skin. Castiel closes his eyes for a moment, enjoying the warm summer evening with Dean on the couch.

 

August 17th

It’s an ordinary day, in Castiel’s opinion. Dean is out with Sam this evening, catching up with his brother, so Castiel has the whole house to himself. Castiel decides it’s the best moment to start cleaning up a bit again – since Jimmy’s death no-one has really bothered to do it, and it’s getting really messy in there. Castiel cleans up the floors, sweeps away the dust from everything around, and he does the laundry and irons while watching some episodes of his favorite TV-show.

Though he’s still thinking about Jimmy most of the time, the sudden thoughts of his brother come by less frequently. He still calls up his mother every two days to check how she’s doing, and though they are still grieving, they can slowly say that it’s getting better, which is good.

Castiel is folding up Dean’s shirts when it happens though; it’s about eight in the evening, the sun is already down, and somehow, it seems to have dropped a few degrees in the room.

Castiel puts down the shirt as he rubs his arms warm again, telling himself he’s imagining the little cloud that appears from his mouth as he breathes out.

He startles, though, when the lights start to flicker all of the sudden. The TV loses connection for a moment, but it gets back on the program again right away.

Then, all of the sudden, a sound comes from the computer. Castiel knows that sound; it indicates that he has a new message.

To be honest, Castiel doesn’t really like Facebook, but he has found it quite an easy way to message a few of his old friends. Though, since Jimmy’s death, he hasn’t really spoken to anybody through the site anymore lately, so the sound comes in as a surprise to him.

Forgetting Dean’s shirt on the table, Castiel walks around the couch to get to the computer. The old thing is rested on a desk right next to the window. When Castiel moves the mouse a bit, the black screensaver disappears and the light of the screen lights up his face. Castiel leans forward to read what exactly is happening, and he squints as he reads the name of the person sending him a message.

Somehow, his brother’s name is flashing up on the right corner of his screen, indicating that the message has come from that profile. But that is impossible; Jimmy has no way of sending him a message.

It’s probably someone messing with him, right? Or he’s just misread the name?

But no, he hasn’t. It’s clearly written; _Jimmy Novak_.

Somehow, unable to stop himself, Castiel takes the mouse in his hand to reach up the pointer, clicking onto the message box to open its content.

     _Hello_

That’s all that’s written. A short _Hello_. There’s not even punctuation or anything, which isn’t really the way Jimmy would write unless he was angry about something. Castiel knows how Jimmy wrote, and it was always perfectly written as if it had come from a book. That was something they had in common.

Castiel swallows loudly as he drops down on the desk chair, getting his hands above the keyboard but thinking about what he could possibly write to who-ever is trying to mess with him.

**_Who is this?_**

**_Mom, is this you?_ **

It could actually very well be their mother too, but that would actually surprise him; Rachel Novak isn’t really the handiest person when it comes to computers. She does have a password to Jimmy’s account, so maybe she’s just trying to reach out to him, only through the wrong way.

When no answer comes then, Castiel’s heart slows down for a little while. He leans back against the desk chair, passing his hand through his hair as he looks around the room. The lights have stopped flickering and his TV-show is just continuing in the background. Nothing strange is happening, there’s probably a reasonable explanation for this.

After ten more minutes without any reply, Castiel lifts his hands back to the keyboard, preparing another message.

**_Hello?_**

**_In the future, please contact me through your own account._ **

And that’s all he has to add to it. He claps his hands together, writing this off as a stupid prank, and he stands up.

It’s then that another cold breeze comes over him, and once again the lights flicker. The TV simply shuts itself off, leaving Castiel in the dark for a moment until the room is fully lit again.

Maybe there’s something wrong with those electricity cables on the street? Castiel turns to look through the window, ignoring his reflection for a moment to focus.

He literally screams as he sees Jimmy standing next to him in that window. Castiel falls backwards, turning over the chair as he tries to remain standing.

No, he has been imagining things, because Jimmy is not standing next to him. The room is empty and cold, and Castiel can’t see the figure of his brother where he had been in the window.

Castiel rubs his eyes as he checks the window again, but this time finding himself alone in the glass. It’s probably his imagination going crazy thanks to these messages, right?

He looks down to the screen again, only to find that ‘Jimmy’ has answered.

     _Hello_

Castiel’s breath hitches as he pulls the chair back up from the floor, setting himself down on it.

**_Mom? You’re on Jimmy’s profile._**

But no more answer comes, and Castiel isn’t really willing to wait for one. He closes the window and shuts down the computer as he can hear the front door open again.

“Dean!” he practically shouts, and his own voice surprises him. Dean, who had been in the process of putting down his keys, looks up with big eyes and his mouth fallen open.

“Cas? What happened?” the man asks, taken aback from the way Castiel greeted him. Castiel runs op to him and holds him in a tight embrace, snuggling his face closer into Dean’s neck as he breathes in his husband’s scent.

“Just some jokester trying to mess with me on Facebook, I think,” he gets out, pressing his hand against Dean’s shoulder to hold him even closer. “I was a little spooked, but I think it’s nothing to worry about.”

Dean pulls back to look Castiel in the eyes, but he doesn’t answer. His face is worried, and his lips are pressed into a thin line.

“Okay then,” he finally says after a moment of silence, dropping a hand on Castiel’s lower back and guiding him to the kitchen. “We are going to have some wine, because Sam is finally going to propose to Sarah,” he reveals. The two find themselves in the kitchen quickly, and when Dean goes to get the bottle, Castiel takes out some glasses.

“What made him change his mind about marriage? Wasn’t he going to wait with it until his big promotion?” Castiel asks, allowing Dean to fill up his glass when he holds up the bottle. Castiel catches Dean’s wedding ring in the process, and ravels in the warm feeling he gets when he remembers that he is wearing an identical one on his left ring-finger.

“I guess he had one of these ‘You only live once’-moments or something,” Dean explains, and they look each other in the eye as they cling their glasses against each other.

After an hour, though, the bottle is lying empty in the sink. The two glasses are abandoned on the table, and a trail of clothes is leading the way to their bedroom, where the couple is making out on the mattress.

Ever since Jimmy’s death, they haven’t really slept together, so Castiel can forgive Dean when he gets a little impatient. Their lips never leave as they roll around in the bed, trying to make out who is the strongest one of the two. The wine is the reason why Castiel is feeling light-headed, and the man is laughing when he ends up on his back again for the –nth time. Dean grins down at him and softly bites him against his cheek.

“Dean, no teasing!” Castiel complains as he pushes his fingers against Dean’s chest. The man lets out a low chuckle as he leaves down trails of kisses on his skin, massaging Castiel’s chest as his lips go over his belly.

When Dean is sidetracked with worshipping Castiel’s body, the other man finds it the perfect time to roll them over again. He pulls Dean back up to his face, and kicks off with his legs, expecting to be lying on top of his husband but instead dropping down to the floor, soon followed by Dean.

“Auw,” Castiel gets out as he rubs his sides. Dean is practically choking in his own laugh, and it takes them a while to get back on the bed.

“Come-on my little fallen Angel,” Dean says as he pulls Castiel up, letting him lie back down on his back again and paying attention to his hurt side.

“I miscalculated the size of our bed,” Castiel explains, and Dean hums against his skin, his teeth leaving small temporal bite-marks. When Dean’s nose lightly goes over his thigh, Castiel starts giggling from the tickles. He grabs at Dean’s head to push him away, but the man avoids him, repeating the motion.

“Dean come on, stop teasing and get inside me,” Castiel suggests with a high-pitched voice as the tickles continue. Dean then lifts his head up and grins up at his husband.

“How could I possibly deny you?” Dean asks, crawling closer to Castiel’s face again to pull him in for another kiss.

Preparing Castiel usually doesn’t take long, but as this is the first time since a few weeks, Dean takes it a little slower. His fingers are gentle and warm, his lips are constantly against his, and then he finally sinks inside him, and their faces are pressed close against each other, eyes locking into a staring match that speaks out the words they can’t manage to speak out at the moment.

It’s slow lovemaking that leaves Castiel breathless during the whole process. They do switch positions once in a while, letting Castiel rest on top of Dean while he thrusts himself back against him. He’s leaning his head down to catch Dean’s lips for another kiss as he gets them both closer to their climax.

And when they finally do, Castiel is still on top of Dean, dropping down all his weight on him in the exhaustion. Dean doesn’t complain, though, and he strokes Castiel’s back in silence. It’s a little while longer when Castiel finally pulls off, letting Dean slide out of him, and then they’re lying next to each other, ignoring the mess they’ve made on their sheets.

“Have I ever told you that I love you?” Dean says out in the afterglow of his bliss, and Castiel smirks again.

“You might have mentioned it before,” Castiel answers, and they snuggle close together again.

 

September 18th  

“Come on, get ready Dean!” Castiel shouts into the hallway from outside the house. It’s already seven fifty, and their reservation is at eight. As usual they would end up late, and as usual it’s because Dean can’t start to dress up on time.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming!” Dean shouts back from his room, causing Castiel to roll his eyes. He goes back to the car to get into his usual seat when Dean finally comes out of the house, locking the door behind him.

Castiel grins at him playfully when he sees Dean’s flustered face as he gets into the car. His hair is strangely neat, and he obviously shaved right before getting dressed.

“You still have some shaving foam on your ear,” Castiel says, reaching for it and rubbing it away. After that he presses a soft kiss against Dean’s cheek. “Now drive, before someone else takes our place!”

And so Dean drives, maybe a little bit too fast in Castiel’s opinion, but eventually they end up at the restaurant with only five minutes tardiness.

“Reservations for Winchester?” Dean asks the waitress, and the woman nods as she shows them to their table. The restaurant is filled with people, and their chairs seem to be the only ones left. Thanking the waitress, they sit down, accepting the menu that she offers them. Dean already orders their best wine, and then they are left alone.

“Huh, they have so many delicious things here, Dean,” Castiel notes as he checks the menu. Neither of them is used of going to restaurants, but as it’s exactly ten years since they’ve met, there’s a reason to go big now, right?

“Well, you order whatever you want, Angel, don’t matter how much it costs,” Dean assures him, and Castiel reaches out to touch his hand in an appreciative gesture.

Castiel can see Dean fumbling a little bit in his seat, but he can’t blame him. He grins at the memory of what they did earlier this morning and is surprised Dean’s managed to sit down this long.

“Still feeling a little sore?” Castiel asks jokingly. Of course, Castiel has less trouble with it as he’s grown used to it a lot earlier than Dean. Dean’s eyebrow is raised in annoyance as Castiel teases him, snorting as if he wants to pretend that he didn’t hear that.

“Just because you have some magic ass that seems to heal the moment I pull out doesn’t mean that I have,” Dean counters, and the table next to them starts coughing at hearing their conversation. Dean’s face is flushed red from the realization, and he shows them an apologetic smile before looking back down on the menu.

“That was awkward,” Castiel mutters, biting his lip to conceal his smile.

The wine arrives right after they order, and Dean and Castiel knock their glasses together before they both taste from the drink. They then sit in silence for another minute, just keeping eye contact and giving each other shy smiles.

Somehow, Dean seems nervous about something. Castiel can tell; it’s exactly like he was before he proposed. He would make awkward chuckles, scratch his hair once in a while, fumble with his sleeves, and it would take Castiel’s hand on his to calm him down. So Castiel does, letting his skin touch Dean’s and rubbing circles with his thumb.

“Dean, just spit it out. It’s not like you can propose a second time, right?” Castiel jokes, and Dean chuckles again, looking down for a moment.

Then he sits up straight again, putting down his glass of wine and pressing his now-free hand on top of Castiel’s. He clears his throat quickly, and swallows.

“I do have something important to say, Cas,” Dean reveals, green eyes meeting his again. Castiel nods as indication to continue, and so Dean does. “I might have been thinking about…”

When Dean remains silent, Castiel raises an eyebrow, leaning forward in case the man’s simply whispering it.

“About what, Dean?” Castiel asks, and Dean sighs.

“About us having kids,” he finishes, breathing out deeply as he looks up again to Castiel. “You gave me the time to get used to that idea, and okay, for long I didn’t even think about it, but now I- “

Dean chokes again, quickly grabbing for his glass again to take a large gulp. Castiel smiles up at him, feeling the relief at realizing that Dean is finally ready for it.

“So how do you want to do it, then?” Castiel asks, hand still on top of Dean’s. Dean bites his lips for a moment while he thinks, his eyes lifting up during the process.

“I think I want a surrogate. One that looks like one of us so our child would look like both of us,” Dean finally answers, and Castiel can agree with that idea. Even thinking of a little baby with brown hair and big green eyes makes him want to cry of joy.

“Then who of us shall… you know…?” Castiel asks. Dean finally smiles up at him, pulling up their joined hands and pressing his lips against Castiel’s knuckles.

“How about you this time and I’ll do it for our next kid?” he offers, and Castiel can agree with that. He feels another warm feeling in his stomach at hearing Dean mentioning another child. Having two kids has always been Castiel’s wish.

“Okay,” Castiel whispers, and they both lean forward to share a quick kiss before their dinner arrives.

 

October 31st

From time to time a few group of kids come ringing on their doorbell, and they open the door in turns to offer them their candy. It’s getting colder outside, and no cars are driving on the road – a silent agreement the neighborhood made to make sure no-one would hit a child. Castiel has seen tons of different costumes that make him want to have children even more.

They’re still in the process of getting the green light with the whole surrogate-thing. They have found the perfect surrogate mother – a woman named Catherine with long dark blonde hair and light green eyes. The only thing missing are those freckles, but they both realized they would never find an exact copy of Dean.

Catherine is a nice woman; she’s single, she likes to work with children and she paints in her free time. The moment they asked her, she agreed to it with that big smile of hers, claiming that it would be an honor to do it.

So now, all they need are the papers that they’re good to go, and the whole process can start. Castiel is starting to feel a little anxious at the whole thing, almost afraid that they’ll be denied and that they’ll have to spend their lives without any hope for children.

“Calm down, babe,” Dean says when he finds Castiel pacing around nervously in the room again. “They have no reason to deny it, it’s just standard procedure.”

Castiel can’t really understand how Dean could be so calm about it, but he guesses that the man’s just trying to hide his fears to calm him down.

With the music set on a calm song, they hold on to each other and slowly rotate around the room. Dean’s hands rest on his hips, and Castiel’s head is dropped against his shoulder. For a moment they dance like this, until the doorbell goes again, and Dean pulls free.

“You get back to your writing, I’ll handle these kids,” he assures him, and when Castiel turns around, he receives a slap against his ass. He turns to glare at Dean, who simply winks.

Castiel gets out of the kitchen and enters the living room. The lights are dimmed, but Castiel can still see clearly enough to get to the computer without falling over something. He drops down on his desk chair again, and curses softly when a wave of cold air passes him. Probably coming from the open door or something. Castiel lets out a small shudder as he gets up again to grab one of those warm blankets, and then the sound of a new message comes out of the computer. Castiel looks up, forgetting about the blanket as he realizes somehow his Facebook-page has opened.

He almost dreads to see who the message is from. Since the last ‘Jimmy’-message, no-one has sent anything to him, so he has a right to be a little skittish about it.

He approaches the computer again, eyes traveling down to the right corner, and is suspicions are confirmed; a new message from Jimmy Novak.

     _Hello_

Once again, nothing more than this simple greeting. But this time, right after it, a second message comes through.

     _I hope you and Dean get married quickly and adopt a lot of little babies, Cassie!_

This stops Castiel’s breathing for a moment. So far, they’ve told nobody about their plans to have kids, just in case they _would_ get denied, so there’s no possible way for this person to know this. Even the Catherine has sworn secrecy until their papers come in.

**_Who is this?_**

Castiel can only try, right? He’s got no reason to be scared, probably someone trying to pull a Halloween-prank on him. He can hear Dean shut the door and walk back to the kitchen to continue dinner, so that must mean that the kids are gone.

For a moment Castiel thinks there’s no answer to come, but after exactly two minutes, another message pops up; that obnoxious sound filling the room.

“Cas? You’re supposed to be writing, not chatting!” Dean shouts from the kitchen, and Castiel huffs out a breath, only hoping he were writing.

“Okay!” he simply calls out, turning off he sound from the computer so Dean won’t hear it.

     _No YOU’RE the idiot, Cassie!_

His fingers feel frozen as they rest above the keyboards. He can remember evenings of endless teasing by his brother, being called an idiot when he gets fascinated by things too deeply and not stopping to talk about it. Castiel would always say “You’re just an idiot for missing out on something so beautiful,” and Jimmy would answer with “No _you_ ’re the idiot, Cassie!” which was then often followed by a reason why Castiel was an idiot. It was playful teasing that was never meant to insult them.

     **_Please tell me who you are?_**

This time, after ten full minutes, there’s no reply, so Castiel clicks away the window to find his upcoming story, waiting to be finished. With shaking fingers he continues to type down the words, but after a while, he’s calmed down completely, ready to finish the chapter and get back to Dean to help him with dinner.

Castiel is aware that he looks spooked. He’s trembling as he’s serving up the table, and it takes him longer than usual to cut his meat. He can feel that his heartbeat has not slowed down, and he keeps on shooting quick glances, afraid to see that his Facebook has opened again.

“Cas, you alright?” Dean asks when he’s finished. Castiel doesn’t answer but pushes his barely empty plate forward, turning his head away from Dean. The lack of answer doesn’t seem to agree with Dean, and the man stands up to crouch down next to Castiel. He presses his hand on his shoulder and rubs soothing circles on his skin.

“Just breathe in and out, are you having another panic attack? Is it about Jimmy?”

Castiel can’t do anything else but nod, because in the end it _is_ about Jimmy. But he follows Dean’s instruction and breathes in when Dean tells him to, taking regular gasps of breath with his husband.

There’s not much speaking when Dean helps Castiel to the bathroom, starting up the shower. They both undress, dropping their clothes in the basket filled with dirty laundry. When they get into the shower, there’s nothing sexual about it. They clean up themselves, help each other out with their backs, and eventually they both come out.

When they’re back in the couch, dried up and covered up warm by a blanket, Castiel starts talking at last.

“I think someone is messing with me through Jimmy’s profile,” he explains, but not elaborating further. Dean only nods again, rubbing his arms to get him to relax. It seems to work for a bit; Castiel can finally lean back against Dean and close his eyes.

“Just ignore them, maybe they’ll stop,” Dean offers as a solution, and Castiel can only agree.

 

December 31st

New Year at the Winchesters is always a very big event; they start out at somebody’s home (they change turns every year), where everybody eats a whole home-cooked meal made by Mrs. Winchester. Then they would wait for desert, which is always more delicious by every year. Eventually, Mrs. Winchester, Sarah and Mrs. Novak would get in a conversation about flowers or gardens, and the men in the house get to the TV to discuss another airing from an old Football-game. Eventually they would take out a pack of cards and everybody would be defeated once more by Mrs. Winchester’s magic powers of bluffing.

Eventually, they would all go outside, joining the other neighbors to the town square, where the fireworks would be lit up and the countdown would begin.

As it’s the first New Year without Jimmy, it takes a little getting used to. They’re at Dean and Castiel’s place this year, and Dean has offered to bring Castiel’s mother back home at the end of the evening. They hold a little moment of silence at the table to remember Jimmy, and Castiel shoots his mother a sympathetic glance from where he’s seated.

When Mrs. Winchester (“Oh, come on, Castiel, you’re my son-in-law, just call me Mary for God’s sake!”) arrives with dinner (which she cooked despite it being Dean’s and Castiel’s turn this year), everybody stops talking, one by one praising Mary for the wonderful meal once again. Mrs. Novak asks her how she made it all, and for a while, that’s the only conversation active at the table.

After a while, though, Sam drops down his glass, clearing his throat to get everybody’s attention. All eyes are on him then, and Castiel can feel Dean’s hand rest down on his leg. Castiel just puts his on top of it and squeezes his fingers.

“Yeah, eh, Sarah and I have an announcement,” he says hesitantly, and Sarah nods at him reassuringly. Dean chuckles at how nervous he is.

“Come on, Sam, we’re all aware you’re getting married, no need to flustered about that,” Dean jokes, which earns him a poke in the ribs from Castiel and Mary shoots him an annoyed glance. The other just ignore him.

“No, eh,” Sam stutters again, and finally Sarah seems to take pity. She puts her hand on top of Sam’s and takes the word.

“We’re having a baby,” she announces. Everybody stars to talk then, congratulating them on the pregnancy. Mary, Rachel and Sarah get in another discussion about what she should eat and not eat during the pregnancy, and John starts to tell Sam how proud he is.

Dean and Castiel are happy for them too. It’s all just perfect timing to be honest. They shuffle closer to each other, and Dean clears his throat as well. Castiel drops his head on Dean’s shoulder as his heart starts to flutter in enthusiasm.

“Now, Sam, you kind of take us by surprise here, and we really don’t want to steal the spotlight at all, but we have something to say as well,” Dean says, eyes low as he speaks.

The room keeps quiet while they wait for Dean to continue talking, but when he doesn’t, Castiel takes over.

“We were waiting to tell you because we weren’t certain about it yet, but we got our permission at the start of November so, yeah…” Castiel realizes that he’s not making any sense, so he’s happy when Dean clarifies.

“We’re gonna have a child as well,” Dean explains, and the whole table explodes with questions. Sarah wants to know if the due date is close to hers. Rachel is practically crying from happiness, kissing Castiel five times on every cheek and repeating the notion with Dean. Mary asks Castiel about the mother; who she is, what she looks like… Sam and John start making plans for future camping-possibilities, and everybody just seems happy for once.

Castiel could have wished for nothing else.

Mary takes out her camera and snaps picture after picture, and when she asks them to, Dean and Castiel share a quick kiss as she snaps the moment. Right before they leave for the fireworks, Mary saves the pictures on Castiel’s computer, making him promise to put those up on Facebook. Castiel can’t see why she would want that, but he does nonetheless, letting the pictures upload on the site. He leaves the computer on when they go outside.

All of Lawrence join to the town square. Castiel gets greeted by Mrs. Masters from across the street. Ellen, Bill, Jo and her husband Jason come stand by them and they all share greeting hugs. The countdown is always filled with the people Castiel dares to call family. A little later, John’s friend Bobby comes to join them as well.

If only Jimmy were there, of course.

Half an hour after midnight, everybody starts to retreat. Sam and Sarah say goodbye first, taking John and Mary with them as they promised to drive them home. Then Bobby, Bill and Ellen get back to their houses, making Dean and Castiel promise to come by very soon.

Eventually Mrs. Novak wants to return home as well, and since Dean promised her a ride home they finally take off as well. They say goodbye to Jo and Jason, and eventually get going.

Once they’re back home it’s ten past one, and Castiel is exhausted. All he wants to do is get out of those clothes and just sleep until noon. Dean gets to the kitchen to clean up the table, and Castiel gets to the computer to check how the uploading is going.

Like he suspected, though, the pictures are ready, so he just clicks okay, and then he starts to go look through them. The images are happy and a wonderful representation of how beautiful the evening has been. When he finds the picture he took of himself and Dean, he selects that one to take on as a new profile picture.

A shudder passes through Castiel all of the sudden. Probably Dean who’s opened the door to throw something away, surely nothing else. Castiel resumes looking at the picture he chose, feeling warmly inside once again. He barely notices the sudden lines that pass through the screen. The thing is old anyway, it’s normal that the screen starts to act strangely.

Suddenly, a sound comes from the boxes. It’s a different sound; not a message. That should be a relief, right?

     **_Jimmy Novak_** _tagged himself on your **photo**_

Castiel’s good mood drops away immediately as he reads it. What kind of a sick game is this? Castiel opens the picture, almost afraid to see which one it is.

It’s one of the first pictures Mary’s taken in the evening. They’re all at the table, John next to Sam, then Sarah, Mary’s empty seat, Dean, Castiel, the empty seat that was always meant for Jimmy, and then Mrs. Novak.

‘Jimmy’ tagged himself in the empty seat.

Whatever good feeling he’s been having is now completely gone, and his eyes start to tear up. How could anybody enjoy tormenting him like this? This is just heartless and cruel!

Dean leans down next to Castiel, eyes following the screen, and frowning as he reads what’s happening.

“Why did you tag Jimmy?” he asks cautiously.

“I didn’t,” Castiel answers shortly, unable to say anything more. Dean takes over the mouse, passing the cursor over Jimmy’s name and indeed reading that he’s tagged himself. Dean hums as he goes to click on ‘edit’ and removes the tag.

“If this keeps on going, we should probably take down his profile,” Dean says, sounding apologetic. Castiel can understand his hesitancy on the subject; Jimmy had been one of his best friends, he doesn’t want this any more than Castiel does.

They turn off the computer again, tangling their fingers together and make a leave for the bedroom. They’re so tired they’re asleep the moment they hit the mattress.

January 15th

“Allright, that’s enough,” Dean says suddenly when he hears another notification-sound appear from the computer. The Jimmy-impersonator has been going on it for more than two weeks now, and so far Castiel has only received complaints about it.

     _It’s insensitive that you would mock your brother’s name like that_

_You’re one sick bastard, you know that. Consider us no longer friends if this if this is how you’re going to remember your brother._

The hate-messages still keep on coming, and it has pushed Castiel deeper and deeper into the ground. His chapters come along way too slow to be acceptable – his publisher even threatened to fire him last week. Castiel hasn’t even gone out of the house in fear of the judgmental looks he’ll possibly receive.

Castiel watches Dean stand up from the couch and walk ahead to the computer. He knows what Dean is going to do, and he’s not going to stop him. It might be better to just delete Jimmy’s profile; not make a big deal out of it. It’s just Facebook, right?

Castiel follows Dean, then, leaning right next to him to follow his movements. The notification has been another tag being added by Jimmy, despite the messages he and Dean have both send his impersonator to please stop it. The tag is added in another empty space right next to Castiel.

“Why do you even keep your profile open all the time? Then we wouldn’t have to keep on hearing those notifications every time,” Dean mutters while he logs Castiel out and instead types in Jimmy’s log-in. He turns his head away while Castiel types in the password, and then they’re on his profile.

“I close the internet all the time Dean, the page just seems to open by itself,” Castiel answers after a few more seconds, realizing how strange it sounds. He and Dean shoot each other a worried glance before they continue.

“In the end, it’s just a stupid profile, right? It doesn’t represent who he was at all,” Dean says as if he needs a little push. He takes Castiel’s hand in his for a moment, but eventually goes to the settings.

They remain silent as Dean clicks on the _delete profile_ link, sending him to another window. He quickly fills in the reason why the profile is going to be deleted, and then he hovers the pointer above _Confirm_.

“It’s okay, Dean,” Castiel says, pressing his lips softly against Dean’s forehead and closing his eyes. He hears the click, and that’s it. This impersonator won’t keep on spamming him any longer.

“The screen froze,” Dean suddenly says, voice annoyed. He gives the screen a few hits before lowering his shoulders. Castiel looks back at the screen, and finds confirmation in Dean’s words. He pulls back lightly and takes over the mouse. Like expected, the thing doesn’t move.

“I guess we’ll have to restart this piece of junk and try again,” Dean then says, already lowering down to press the start-button. Castiel keeps his eyes locked on the screen for a while, and watches how it turns black.

He then can see himself staring back at him. He looks horrible, to say the least, but that could be the screen reflecting him wrong. At least, he hopes it is.

“Dude, why is it so cold in here all of the sudden?” Dean mutters, causing Castiel to practically choke. He has by now learned what the cold means.

His suspicions are confirmed when he sees Jimmy’s figure standing right next to him on the screen. Castiel jumps back again, letting out a shout and swinging his arms around to once again not fall back. Dean startles up, hitting his head against the desk as he rises. He lets out a curse.

“Dammit Cas, what’s wrong?” he asks, rubbing his head and turning to check on Castiel.

“I thought-“ he starts, but he stops right then. What? Is he just going to say he thinks he saw Jimmy? Would Dean even believe him? Or would he think Castiel’s going crazy? “Never mind, probably my imagination,” he finally finishes, lowering his head to avoid Dean’s eyes.

“Cas?” Dean asks. The man stands up unsteadily, and tries to come closer again.

“I said never mind, Dean!” Castiel snaps back, wanting this conversation to end as fast as it started. “Just try again, I need some fresh air.”

And at that, Castiel storms out of the living room, grabbing his thick coat and scarf, and immediately getting out of the house, leaving Dean standing there.

Castiel makes his way to the cemetery first. His hands are buried deep inside his pockets to avoid the cold, and he’s shivering. Walking among all those graves makes him ache deep inside, but he can’t seem to turn back around.

When he reaches Jimmy’s grave, he just stands there, looking down at the grave and nodding for no reason. He hasn’t been here for a long time – maybe since the funeral – so it’s strange to see the stone surrounded by all that stone. The flowers on the grave are wilted, and Castiel picks them up to throw them away later.

“Hello, little brother,” he finally says as a greeting, not expecting any kind of answer in return. An old man passes him by, giving him a sympathetic nod at realizing what Castiel is doing. Surely, he’s not the first one to talk to someone’s grave, right?

“It’s been a crazy few months without you,” Castiel starts, thinking back of the days after the funeral. They have been empty and hollow, and back then Castiel would have sold his soul to bring back Jimmy.

“Amelia left, went back to Pontiac a few weeks after the funeral. She found a job at a daycare, which seems to fit her, right?

“Mom’s all right, I guess. She doesn’t talk that much about it. I think she’s trying to forget the pain, so I can’t find any way to speak to her about it.”

Castiel starts to tell him about Sam and Sarah getting married next month. About both of them expecting to be parents real soon. He tells him about Catherine’s pregnancy, how far she’s coming so far. He tells him about Dean’s patience during his grief, and somehow, at the end, he feels a little bit lighter. He tilts his head a little bit as he looks at the grave, willing Jimmy’s spirit to just float out of it and tell him everything is going to be all right.

“Hello, Castiel,” suddenly comes from behind him. Castiel turn around so fast that it leaves his head spinning.

“Hello, Mary,” he greets Mrs. Winchester back. The woman just smiles as she looks down at her bouquet of flowers. “Here to visit someone?”

“I came to see Jimmy as well,” she offers, giving Castiel a questioning look before she walks forward. Castiel steps aside as the woman puts down the bouquet. It makes him smile to see some colors back on the grave.

“Is Dean not with you?” Mary suddenly asks after a few seconds of silence. Castiel feels his cheeks flush pink at the mention of his husband.

“I kind of snapped at Dean before getting here,” he confesses, tangling his fingers together and taking a deep breath. “I should probably get back there and apologize.”

Mary only nods shortly, but she frowns all of the sudden. For a moment, she looks away, staring into the emptiness of the graveyard. In the meantime, the snow has started to fall again.

“Why did you snap at him?” she asks, but her voice sounds distant, as if she’s not really there.

“There have been some problem with Jimmy’s profile lately, and we wanted to delete the page but the computer froze,” Castiel answers shortly, not wanting to add all the details about seeing Jimmy actually standing next to him. There’s no need to be called crazy, so he should just keep it quiet.

Mary nods eventually, bowing forward her head as she seems to undo something from her neck. Castiel watches patiently as she lifts up a necklace she’s been carrying.

“I want you to wear this, sweety,” Mary says as she takes Castiel’s hands in hers and drops down the necklace. Castiel’s eyes open wide, and he wants to pull back.

“No, Mary, I can’t take that,” Castiel starts to protest, but Mary shakes her head, offering him a sad smile.

“Please, Castiel, it’s for protection,” she presses on, wrapping Castiel’s hand around the locket and keeping it safe. “It’s been my lucky charm for years, and I have no need for it anymore, but you do.”

Mary stands up on her toes to reach Castiel’s face, and presses a small kiss on his cheek before walking away again. Castiel just stands there, frozen in place as he watches Mary’s figure retreat. In his hand, the iron necklace still lies warmly on his skin.

At his arrival back home, Dean is already waiting for him. The man looks up the moment Castiel passes through the door, and before he can even take off his jacket, they’re already running into each other’s arms. Castiel’s face rests against Dean’s shoulder as he grasps on to him, pressing him closer and closer, not ever wanting to let go. Dean does exactly the same, somehow apologizing for no reason at all.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel finally says before he pulls his face back and presses their lips together for a kiss. Dean returns it with so much force that Castiel’s breath is almost sucked out of him.

His coat and shoes end up on the kitchen floor, but the rest of their clothes are removed in the warm safety of the bedroom. There’s not a moment that they let go of each other, and they keep on whispering sweet words to each other. Castiel can feel the tears from earlier dry on his cheek. It’s a little uncomfortable, but he manages to ignore it.

Castiel is laid down on his stomach after they’re both completely free of clothing. Dean seems to be massaging every part of his body, starting from his shoulders to his lower back. Even his arms receive the same treatment, and in the end Castiel feels so relaxed that he doesn’t even notice Dean preparing him again.

When he finally sinks inside, Castiel gasps for breath, reaching his hand backwards to find Dean’s. They tangle their fingers together again, pressing down on the mattress to keep themselves up. Dean’s lips go over his neck and shoulder, and his slow pushes become harder ones after a little while. Castiel – despite being quite silent most of the times – can’t stop making noise as they climb up that mountain together. They keep on getting closer to the top, and when they do, both of them practically scream out with all the force they have.

Castiel is out of breath when Dean drops down above him, both of them unable to move for a moment.

“I love you, Cas,” Dean whispers in his ear. “No matter what.”

“And I love you, Dean,” Castiel answers in a whisper.

Their bliss, however, is disturbed when Castiel’s laptop suddenly makes a sound. They have both completely forgotten the little computer that Castiel keeps underneath the bed in case of sudden night-inspiration. They open their eyes again, and both turn their head to the left, back on Castiel’s side.

“Dude, did you leave your laptop on all the time?” Dean asks in annoyance, starting to get up. He presses another kiss against Castiel’s shoulder as he pulls out of him, reaching for the tissues next to the bed and starting to clean them both off.

“No, I shut the thing off every time before I sleep,” Castiel mutters in disbelief. He’s completely confused when Dean rolls him over and starts cleaning his stomach and chest, throwing away the used tissues into the trashcan by the door.

“Maybe you just forgot this time,” Dean mumbles, kissing him one last time on the lips before he gets out of bed. He starts to pick up their discarded clothes, throwing Castiel’s back to him and dressing up again. “By the way, I tried again to remove the page, but the screen froze again. Might be a bug in the website or something?”

Castiel nods as the words sink in. Of course it was too naïve to think that it would be that easy

After putting his underwear back on, Castiel rolls to the left side of the bed and reaches underneath, feeling the laptop rest under his fingers. He takes the thing out and looks at it as if it’s about to bite him. Dean comes to lie down next to him again, resting his back against the headboard as Castiel lifts up the screen from the laptop.

The first thing that has opened is Facebook, which is practically impossible; Castiel doesn’t visit that site through this computer. He always uses the desktop for that. Dean puts his chin on Castiel’s shoulder as he reads along, waiting for Castiel to open up the notification.

With shaky fingers, Castiel touches the mouse pad, using his index finger to move the pointer around until it has found the notification. With his heart beating like crazy inside his chest, he opens it.

     **_Jimmy Novak_** _tagged himself on your **photo**_

The two remain silent then, Castiel biting his lips as the dread washes through him, and Dean probably thinking in silence. His hand strokes Castiel’s arm to keep him calm, but that won’t work for much longer if this keeps on going.

“Maybe I should just remove my own profile?” Castiel asks.

“Maybe that’s our best solution,” Dean answers, sounding defeated. Castiel swallows loudly as Dean’s hand softly pushes Castiel’s away to take over the pointer. Castiel has no objections about that, and he watches how Dean repeats the whole process again, only this time it feels like he’s giving up instead of defeating some bully.

Just like before, the screen freezes. Dean and Castiel are left lying there with their mouths open as once again, the computer stops working the moment they’re close of escaping.

They restart the computer, and try again, only to get the very same reaction. It leaves them wordless as they put aside the small computer, unable to find any explanation for it. Dean wraps his arm around Castiel’s shoulder, and pulls him closer to him. Castiel lets him do, taking in the warmth that comes from Dean’s breath.

 

January 20th

It’s been ten days, and since then every attempt of removing Jimmy’s profile has backfired on them. Last night the big computer even gave up on them, and died out with a loud bang. They didn’t manage to start him back up.

Now Castiel is seated behind his laptop, having given up trying to remove any of the profiles in fear that his laptop with all his documents would give up as well.

Dean is out of the house, catching up with Sam to talk about their upcoming babies. Castiel didn’t want to bring them down with his bad mood, so he decided to stay home.

Which leaves him here, behind his laptop, clicking another recent tag away. It makes him sigh deeply as he finds Jimmy’s name written above an empty space. His hand reaches to Mary’s iron necklace, and he rubs his thumb over it while opening Jimmy’s chat box.

     **_Why are you doing this?_**

**_Why do you keep on tagging him?_ **

He knows he sounds hopeless, but to be honest, there’s no more fight left in him. He just wants it to be over. Just wants the memory of Jimmy to be respected instead of it being mocked with.

But as the day passes by, ‘Jimmy’ doesn’t answer, and in the end, Castiel just closes down his laptop again. At least the tagging has stopped for now.

 

January 30th

     _Hello_

Castiel ignores the message. He stands up from his seat, with his hands balled in fists. Dean is still at work, so he’s happy he’s not going to get his anger out on him. Castiel gets outside, walks off the frustration, and eventually returns home.

Only to find another, new message.

     _Hello_

His fist slams down on the desk, and he can feel how his face flushes red from anger. He tries to take even breaths to calm down, closing his eyes to hold back the tears that are already coming.

     **_This is really devastating, I do hope you know this._**

 ** _I have no possible way of understanding why you enjoy doing this_**.

And after four minutes of waiting, he receives another reply.

     _Oh my GOD! Those new coffees are amazing!_

Typical, digging back into an old conversation of them from when that new coffee-shop opened up last year. That’s very clever. Castiel makes a bitter laugh as he shakes his head, biting his lip once more.

     **_In the words of a very good friend of mine: Go to Hell._**

Castiel feels strangely proud at that, since he’s not one to curse a lot, especially on the net. If Dean were there, he would be proud!

     _Why are you doing this?_

Castiel’s pride sinks away immediately. This is what he sent last week, and now his words are thrown back to him? This message is completely pointless? He’s the one mocking Castiel by impersonating his dead brother, and yet _he’s_ the one asking why he’s doing this? This person must be one sick bastard to think he could just get away with that.

But Castiel can’t find anything to throw back at all. His fingers are above the keyboard, but no words are formed, and eventually he just gives up. He slumps back against his chair, rubbing his forehead in an attempt to think again.

No more messages are sent that day.

 

February 14th

In between helping Sam and Sarah with the last preparations of their wedding, joining Catherine to the doctor’s office to see their son for the first time, and writing the last few chapters of his book, Castiel hasn’t really found the time to check any bit of social network.

Today, though, he finds that he has some free time before Dean would return home. The house is already completely clean, the nursery has been fully decorated by him and Dean this last month, and there’s no need to go for some groceries, so he finds himself sitting there in the house, trying to figure out what he’s going to do next.

Last week he has been confronted by Jo who pushed a paper with a phone number written on it under his nose.

“Call him, he might be able to find who is messing around with Jimmy’s profile,” she had said, and since then, the number has been resting in his wallet. Somehow, the thought has never occurred to him that they might be able to track this guy, but now the answers might be easy for the taking.

So he calls up the man, and about an hour later Castiel finds himself in front of a small house with an abandoned garden. With hesitation, he rings the doorbell, somehow hoping that the guy wouldn’t be home after all, that he would have forgotten or something.

When the door opens, though, Castiel is confronted by a- well, there’s no way to really describe this guy. He’s reeking of alcohol, has short messy hair up front but long bangs from behind, and his clothes seem to have been worn for a few days now.

“Ash?” Castiel asks, not knowing if he was ever told this man’s surname. The guy squints up at him, but eventually nods.

“I take you’re Cas, right?” Ash asks, and Castiel nods, remembering how he’s almost spent ten minutes in trying to get this guy to pronounce his name right and eventually just settling for Cas. He’s invited inside, and even though Ash doesn’t tell him to, he takes off his coat. On his way to the living room he almost trips over a few cans of beer, but eventually he finds his way to the couch.

“Now you had trouble with someone taking over your brother’s profile?” Ash asks, and Castiel nods, lifting up his laptop back he was instructed to bring along, and taking out the computer. Ash takes it out of his hands and gently puts it on the table, squeezing his eyes shut for a few seconds and eventually inhaling deeply through his nose.

As Ash asks him questions, Castiel answers them the best way he can. Of course, he doesn’t really know computers that much, so one or two times Ash has to translate some of his words back into English.

Castiel has no idea how long he’s sitting there on Ash’s couch. He’s currently reading away in his book as the man keeps on typing furiously, and looks up when the man whistles all of the sudden.

“Man, in all this history on your computer I haven’t even found one indication of porn! Are you some kind of monk or something?” Ash asks, ignoring Castiel’s glare. Of course this man must be aware that Castiel is married, he hasn’t made an effort of hiding his wedding ring at all.

“Well, I’ve been up on it for three hours now maybe,” Ash suddenly says after a while longer, and Castiel looks up in surprise. It’s indeed three hours further, which would mean that Dean would return home quite soon. “And I must say, whoever’s doing this is not leaving any trace behind.”

Castiel gets up to stand behind Ash, trying to follow his actions on the screen. It’s all gibberish to him, so he gives up.

“So you don’t know where it comes from,” Castiel says more than asks. The man shakes his head and throws his hands up in defeat.

“The thing is, it’s coming from where your logs are coming, so which means your house,” Ash clarifies. “But however, this person is bringing a strange frequency with him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whenever you’re about to receive a message from him, somehow your computer puts up a fight to get it. You can see these error-messages, right?” Castiel follows Ash’s finger and indeed sees the word written on it. “It’s really strange, and honestly nothing I’ve ever seen before in my life.”

So that’s that. Castiel sighs in defeat as he nods behind Ash, standing back up and getting to his laptop bag.

But when the room suddenly drops a few temperatures, his throat dries out again. He turns his head back to Ash, who seems to have noticed it as well. The man gets out of the couch, and holds out his hands as he gets to the hallway.

Castiel’s eyes open wide when Ash takes out a massive gun from behind the coats hanging there. He steps backwards slowly, but doesn’t remove his eyes from Ash as the man inspects the room.

They both startle when a sound comes from the computer. Castiel drops down to the couch, in fear that Ash might suddenly start to shoot, but instead, the man gets to the computer.

“It’s a message,” Ash says, as if he can’t believe his own eyes. Castiel could have sworn that his internet hadn’t been opened. He hurries to the other couch, setting himself next to Ash to read along on the screen.

     _We should make a campfire next time._

_Jesus Christ, Cassie, you scared me!_

_I feel like I’m being dragged along._

_No chance of passing._

_No chance of passing._

_We were three._

_Let desk drawer_

_Let_

_Left._

_No chance of passing._

It’s completely silent after that. Castiel just stares ahead of him, letting the messages pass through. All these sentences have been recycled from old conversations, he’s sure of it. But somehow it seems to fit all together. _No chance of passing_? _We were three_?

Maybe this isn’t an impersonator? Maybe this is actually Jimmy somehow, trying to reach out for him? That could by why there’s always this cold chill around whenever he’s sending something.

“Dude, what the-“ Ash starts, but his words fade away as he realizes Castiel has already run through the door with his laptop tucked quickly inside his bag.

When he gets home, the house is cold and empty. Obviously, Dean hasn’t returned yet after all. He’s probably still at work or something. Castiel just marches through the door, dropping the laptop on the couch and to the desk – which is now free of the big old computer that had been resting on it. Castiel sits down on the chair, immediately reaching for the first left drawer, pulling it open and finding nothing that seems out of the ordinary. The same goes for the other two. But when he gets to the fourth, he’s confronted by a picture.

He swallows loudly as he picks the picture up, holding it up into the light to see what’s on it.

It’s a picture of him and Jimmy on the day of the wedding. They’re both smiling; Castiel in a black suit, Jimmy in a blue one. It was the happiest day of his life, and he can’t for the life of him remember why he put that picture in there. When he looks back down into the drawer, though, there’s a lighter. A simple black lighter he’s never seen before.

“What are you trying to tell me, Jimmy?” he asks as he raises his head, this time not startling as he sees Jimmy’s reflection standing next to him again.

 

March 1st

Since he’s visited Ash, no more messages have been sent, which gives him some strange peaceful feeling. All activity on Jimmy’s profile has stopped, even though the computer still crashes when they try to remove it.

Today, Castiel, Dean and Catherine are both at the woman’s house, checking up on her and to find how the pregnancy’s going.

“He’s a little wild-guy,” Catherine reveals, chuckling as both Dean’s and Castiel’s hands are on her pregnant belly, trying to get as close to the kid as they can.

“Yeah, his father used to be a wild guy back in college,” Dean jokes, and Castiel shoots him an annoyed glance.

“I can’t believe you would bring that up right now,” Castiel protests.

“He was quite the hippie, arranging these strange orgies with those other hippies and all,” Dean explains to a smirking Catherine. Castiel just looks away in embarrassment. “Luckily I got him out of that hole, right?”

At that, Dean rests his hand on Castiel’s thigh, and the man looks up at him.

“Lucky indeed,” Castiel says, holding himself back when he feels the urge to kiss that smirk away. Not in front of Catherine.

They stay for dinner at her place, but Castiel has to admit that the woman’s not the best cook in the world. Her meat is just a little bit too dry, which leaves him drinking glasses of water one right after the other. Eventually, they leave again, greeting Catherine and their growing little baby goodbye.

“Do you ever miss it?” Dean suddenly asks during the drive home. Castiel looks up at the man in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“The way you were in college? You seemed happy the way you were then, and I just made you change completely,” Dean mumbles.

Castiel thinks back, remembering how he had acted incredibly stupid in that year. He had been high most of the time, sleeping away his loneliness with other women. One day both Jimmy and Dean intervened, taking him back home to detox and get healthy again. In all honesty, it hadn’t been the lack of drug that was the hardest part about it. They all called him a junky back in the day, while the truth was that his addiction did not lie in the drug, but in the sex.

But in the end, though, it had all been worth it, right? Castiel hasn’t slept with anyone else except for Dean since then – and even that had taken about two more years until they got together – and he’s free of any diseases.

“I do not miss it,” Castiel says truthfully, taking Dean’s hand in his own and pulling it up to his lips. Dean only smiles.

That evening they’re both in bed again. Castiel is hovering above Dean, hands travelling all over the man’s body. Their lips barely touch, but that’s what Castiel wants. To tease.

So he tickles Dean with his breath, his fingers, even his hair, and when the man is fully undressed, he slowly strokes the inside of his thighs.

Castiel knows how Dean needs to feel like he’s got everything under control. That’s the thing about being a big brother, and it never really goes away. So, it’s in times like these that Castiel can convince Dean to give away a bit of that control, and give it over to Castiel. Dean gives himself over completely in a wordless agreement, and Castiel receives all the power.

So when he wants to worship the man’s body like he always does, Dean lets him.

And it’s all so intense. Feeling Dean trembling underneath him when they’re locked together again makes Castiel take the man’s hands in his own, kissing his knuckles again.

And Castiel has to remind him every time that he’s got him, that he’s not going to let go, because Dean needs to hear those reassuring words every time again. Castiel doesn’t rush it, doesn’t make hard movements, because Dean needs this to be calm and steady.

And reaching that peak once again makes Castiel love Dean more and more every time they do. They still have their fingers entwined, and Dean rubs his face against Castiel’s. And when Castiel wants to get up, Dean holds him back.

“Please Cas, just stay in there a little while longer,” Dean begs, and Castiel agrees to it, not moving his hips from between Dean’s open legs.

“Okay, but don’t come complaining when your sore again tomorrow,” Castiel counters, earning him an eye roll from Dean.

“Aw, man, the moment’s gone,” Dean complains, sighing loudly as he presses his head back against his pillow. “Just get out of me, I need a shower.”

Laughing, Castiel rolls off of Dean, watching the man he loves get up again and hopping quickly to the bathroom. The way he walks is funny, and makes Castiel laugh even more.

“What, you’re sore already?” he asks, and Dean holds up his middle finger at him. Castiel throws his head back in amusement. “Well, if you hurry up, you just might,” he says as he leans back on the headboard, not even bothering to cover up his body. Dean frowns a bit until he understands, looking at his lifted finger. The look he throws him is a silent promise.

As soon as the shower is starting, Castiel relaxes, putting his hand on his stomach and waiting for a while. He could just get started already, saving Dean the trouble of preparing him, but somehow, he doesn’t want that. The whole preparation is like the best part of it. So instead he throws the cover over his naked body and pulls out his laptop again.

The moment his screen is on, a message appears in the right corner. Castiel isn’t even surprised anymore.

     _Dude, they fuck like bunnies, there’s no actual way for me to sleep with them around!_

Castiel can feel his cheeks heat up as the words get through his head. So, if Jimmy’s really out there, he’s aware of what he and Dean just did – and what they’re about to do. That’s disturbing.

     _Agh, I just saw my naked roommate, I’m ready to move out of this dorm Cassie._

Castiel snorts, taking this as Jimmy telling him he’s scarred for life by catching his brother and his husband in the act. He doesn’t answer, though, because he realizes quickly that he’s too comfortable with this. Surely, if Jimmy’s still out there, it wouldn’t be just to chat a little bit.

     _Cassie_

_Cassie_

_Cassie_

So, it’s like Jimmy is sending echoes or something. Whatever the last sentence is, he’s repeating the last word. For a moment, Castiel just thinks the computer is going crazy as the name keeps on appearing in the chat box.

     **_Jimmy, I don’t know what’s happening?_**

And that’s the truth. He wants to know why exactly Jimmy keeps on contacting him. At first, Castiel thought his brother just wanted Castiel to know he was still around, _hell_ , they hadn’t even communicated anymore since Ash, but after another few weeks, here he is again.

     **_I don’t know how you’re still doing this, but go and find peace, Jimmy, please stop._**

It’s what Castiel wants; for Jimmy to find peace and leave Castiel alone. Because this isn’t natural, and they both don’t deserve this.

     _Please stop._

_I don’t know what’s happening?_

Once again, Jimmy repeats Castiel’s last words, and Castiel growls in frustration.

“How difficult is it to just send something I can actually work with?” he shouts into the air, closing down the laptop and putting the thing back under the bed after making sure that the thing is completely shut down. He remains lying there in frustration while he waits for Dean. Oh, he could use the distraction right now.

 

March 5th

Castiel and Dean are silent on the drive to Jimmy’s house.

It’s snowing outside, the sky is ugly gray, and there’s nobody on the street. It’s just a miserable day, and Jimmy wants it over with quickly.

Last day, his mother had called him to reveal that she wanted to sell the house, thus making it necessary to clean up Jimmy’s stuff. When Castiel had asked when she was going to do it, he should have known that she would send him.

So Castiel is in a bad mood, and so is Dean, because obviously, neither of them is ready to get inside that house.

When they park their car on the driveway, they find that the moving truck is already there, with a few men waiting for them to arrive. They greet each other, because despite Castiel’s foul mood he should still be friendly, and they get inside. They start with the lower floors, helping in taking out the couches and tables. It’s a matter heavy lifting, and it leaves them cursing most of the time, but eventually the whole lower floor is inside the truck. When the guys reveal that they’re taking a break, so do Dean and Castiel. The pair get up into the house, walking up and finding themselves in Jimmy’s bedroom.

“If you’re selling all of this, why move it anyway?” Dean asks, and Castiel shrugs.

“The possible buyer probably wants to move in his own furniture,” he suggests. He starts rummaging through the drawers, putting the content into boxes they brought along.

“Dude, Cas, come on, we’re having a break here,” Dean complains, but Castiel ignores him, moving on to the next drawer. When Dean comes to stand behind Cas, he puts his hands on the man’s shoulder.

Castiel pushes him away maybe a little bit too hard, and Dean falls down on the bed, looking at Castiel disbelievingly. Castiel just stops whatever he’s doing, takes a deep breath, but almost starts sobbing instead.

“If I don’t do this now, I’m afraid I might never be able to do it,” he mutters, feeling a single tear fall down from his eyes. The box is then pulled from his hands, and Dean puts it on the desk, pulling Castiel close again.

“Come,” Dean says, taking Castiel away from the desk and getting them to the other side of the room.

“What are you doing?” Castiel asks when Dean puts Castiel’s hand on his shoulder and drops his own on Castiel’s hip. With their free hands they lace their fingers together again, and Dean keeps them in the air.

“Dance with me,” Dean whispers against his ear. Castiel closes his eyes, trying to forget where they are as he presses the side of his face against Dean’s.

They dance there for about ten minutes until a knock on the door pulls them apart again. The workmen are indicating that they’ll be continuing, and Dean nods, getting out of the room to join them.

“You just continue on filling these boxes, babe,” Dean tells him, and Castiel can do that. He goes back to the desk to take the box, only to find that Jimmy’s computer has suddenly started.

 _Oh, not this again,_ Castiel thinks as he lowers himself on the chair. He turns to look around if there’s anybody there, but he finds that he’s all alone.

Like he’s expected, the screen lights up to Facebook immediately, and Castiel can almost roll his eyes at the irony. Years ago, they both declared that Facebook was just a stupid website that was meant to make people addicted to the internet – which in the end it was.

     _I_

_I_

_-12_

_-15_

_My coat is in the dryer, and it’s really cold outside._

The messages make less and less sense. What are those numbers? Obviously not the temperature, because that’s just too low. But, then again, Jimmy had always been big on exaggerating.

     _Really cold out_

_Cold_

_Cold_

_Castiel_

_Please stop_

_I_

_Cold_

_FREEZZZING_

_I don’t know what’s happening?_

Anxiety suddenly hits him as the messages come on through. This is the first time that Jimmy has mentioned how he’s feeling, and it scares him. Yes, it’s indeed cold outside; very cold in fact that Castiel’s even surprised the car hadn’t given up when they left.

Leaving the box for what it is, Castiel gets up from his chair. Jimmy mentioned a coat in the dryer, and Castiel’s actually quite curious if it’s indeed still in there. When he passes Dean, he offers him a small wave, making a drinking gesture as an excuse to get downstairs. Dean only nods, getting back to emptying the guest room.

Castiel can remember that the dryer and the washing machine are still in the garage, so he pulls on his own coat to get ready to go outside.

Walking to the garage makes him curse. It’s too cold, and what would he possibly do if the thing is indeed there? Would he just accept it and move on? What would it mean?

As he gets inside, he finds the place empty without a car, which isn’t that surprising as the thing got destroyed in the crash. As fast as he can, he drops down in front of the dryer, opening the thing and finding it filled with clothes.

Including the coat.

 

March 6th

That night, Castiel has his first nightmare. It all starts out simple; him and Jimmy sitting in the car together, arguing about probably something stupid, until suddenly they get blasted of the road.

And then Castiel finds himself out of the car, looking down at a shivering Jimmy whose leg is stuck inside the car.

“Help me, Castiel, I’m cold,” he keeps on begging, but somehow, Castiel is unable to move. Every time he tries to move his legs, he can’t. When he wants to scream for help, nothing comes out of his mouth.

And Jimmy would keep on getting bluer by the second, slowly freezing to death before he could bleed dry completely. And his eyes would keep on looking at Castiel, silently begging him to just make an end to it, to get him out of his misery.

Castiel is awakened by Dean who keeps on shaking him until the dream is completely gone. The moment he’s opened his eyes, though, he’s crying, grabbing his sheets and wetting Dean’s shoulder with his tears as his husband holds him.

That morning, he’s a wreck. Dean takes the day off just so he can stay with Castiel, and together, the two leave the house again. They head for Dean’s parents to pay them a visit, and when Mary and John greets them, Castiel can barely greet them in return. He’s just so exhausted by being haunted by Jimmy. He wants it all to be over.

He finds himself staring ahead of him most of the time, literally zoning out for a few moments, and each time Dean brings him back, gently shaking him to get his attention. After a while, though, he closes his eyes, and they let him rest on the couch, moving to the kitchen to continue the conversation.

Castiel can hear them talk about Sam’s and Sarah’s wedding, about how her pregnancy is going well. They even mention Catherine and their growing little son for a moment.

When Mary asks about Castiel, though, it gets quiet. Castiel can hear some shuffling sounds, and he knows Dean is just checking if he’s asleep, so Castiel pretends.

Because he wants to know if Dean thinks he’s crazy yet.

“I’m worried, mom,” Dean finally starts, voice obviously pained from the emotion. “He’s been having bad nights for a while now, but this night the dreams just seems to have gotten worse.”

“Is there any reason why these dreams appear?” Mary asks.

“Ever since this Jimmy-impersonator I suppose, though there have been weeks where the guy doesn’t send a thing, and Castiel gets better, and then one simple message can bring him back down again. I’m afraid at what will happen if this keeps on going.”

Castiel feels guilty all of the sudden, but also a little bit betrayed. Why couldn’t Dean just tell him all this by himself? But then again, Dean isn’t that much of a talker.

“And he’s mentioned that he saw Jimmy a few times, though he blames it on his imagination,” Dean adds. “Probably what this impersonator wanted by keeping on tagging him in empty spaces.”

Castiel doesn’t hear anything else then, as the exhaustion takes him over and he falls asleep. When he awakes again, he’s already seated back in the Impala, obviously on their way home. He doesn’t look up at Dean, but he knows the man is aware that he’s awake.

“I’m not crazy,” Castiel mutters in his defense, curling his hands back into fists as he turns his head completely away from Dean. He startles, though, when Dean puts his hand on top of Castiel’s.

“I know, babe,” he assures him. “We’ll figure this out.”

 

March 15th

The nightmares don’t go away.

Every night, Castiel is awakened by Dean shaking him. Sometimes the dreams get so bad that he’s punching the air, and one time he hit Dean straight on the jaw.

So Dean walks around with a big bruise on his face, and they’re both sleep deprived, which is actually terrible.

Castiel postpones going to sleep every evening. When Dean goes to the room around eleven, Castiel remains downstairs, often busy with something.

Today, his something is an empty bottle of wine, which he drunk from. Only to mention it had been full when he started.

It’s kind of safe to say that Castiel has reached the inebriated state; he’s drunk. He can’t think clearly anymore, his eyes keep on dropping shut, and somehow he finds himself talking to air.

One moment, he’s on the couch, though, and the next he’s sitting down at the desk. He presses on the power button of his new computer without really thinking about it, and the first thing he does when the thing is completely on is to start up a conversation with Jimmy.

     **_I re alllly miss yo_**

**_Im so vry drunk right nw_ **

**_Issit straange tht I still xpect yr phone czll evehu ae—vening?_ **

**_Issat xei rd?_ **

Castiel is aware that whatever he’s typing doesn’t make any sense, but he just can’t make out the words he’s typing. They come so clearly in his head, but he just can’t find the buttons – except for enter.

Jimmy answers immediately, which seems a little weird.

     _Just let me walk_

And that seems to make Castiel snap. The tears come running from his eyes as he reads the message, and when he’s finished, he picks up the bottle of wine and throws it hard against the wall.

Castiel grabs at his hair as he starts screaming, turning around and pulling as if he’s trying to get Jimmy out of his head. He doesn’t notice Dean walking up to him until two strong arms are wrapped around him, and when Castiel wants to break free, the grip only gets stronger.

“It doesn’t stop, it never stops!” Castiel sobs, still trying to get loose from the hold. Dean suddenly turns him around and holds him in a very tight hug. Castiel’s face is again pressed against his shoulder, and the tears drop on Dean’s bare skin. “He can’t walk Dean, his leg is stuck inside the car, he’s in pain, he’s cold, he doesn’t leave me alone,” he cries out, finally pressing his own hands behind Dean’s back and pulling him closer to his body. Dean makes a hushing sound to calm him down, slowly rocking them around.

“Why can’t he leave me alone?” he finally whispers.

“I don’t know,” Dean answers, voice sounding even broken as Castiel feels.

“Don’t let me go,” Castiel begs all of the sudden. “I’m not crazy.”

“I’ll never let you go,” Dean whispers back. Castiel does notice that Dean doesn’t deny thinking he’s crazy, but he’s suddenly too tired to even care.

 _Maybe I_ am _crazy?_

March 16th

Having a mayor hangover, Castiel stays in bed most of the morning, only getting out to throw up his dinner from last night. Dean isn’t home, this he knows, but when Castiel gets downstairs, he does find Sarah sitting on the couch.

“So you’re my babysitter today?” he mutters grumpily, walking up to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Sarah only greets him with a big smile, and she comes to join him in the kitchen.

“Dean just didn’t think you should be alone today,” Sarah says, letting her hand pass through Castiel’s hair before cupping his jaw. “We care about you, Castiel, and we don’t want you to be unhappy.”

Castiel doesn’t answer as he pulls his face free from Sarah’s hold. He refuses to look at her, instead looking at the window. It’s still snowing, to his biggest annoyance. Why is it still snowing? It’s March!

“Do you want to do something today?” Sarah asks innocently. “I was thinking maybe we could go shopping for baby clothes for our little ones, don’t you think?”

Castiel doesn’t turn his head as he nods, actually agreeing that maybe getting out of the house might be good for him. And every time spent on his upcoming little boy is good time. So he finally looks at Sarah’s big and innocent as he nods again.

“I would like that,” he admits, which earns him a big toothy smile from his sister-in-law. She pulls him up immediately, pushing him straight to the bathroom.

“Come on, take a shower, you smell like wine and puke,” she orders, closing the door behind him as he scrambles into the bathroom. Without any protest, though, he strips down, throwing his pajamas into the laundry-basket and starting up the shower.

When he suddenly sees Jimmy standing next to his reflection again, he drops down his head.

“So aren’t you going to let me shower in peace anymore, now?” he asks bitterly, ignoring the hurt look in Jimmy’s eyes as he speaks. Finally, Jimmy seems to open his mouth, but nothing comes out.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Castiel mutters, turning around and supposedly passing through Jimmy when he gets into the shower. He washes himself quickly, and when he leaves the warm space again, Jimmy is nowhere to be found. He quickly dries himself as he ignores the mirror, and when he goes to his room he wraps the towel around his waist to spare Sarah.

Shopping seems to take his mind off of Jimmy for a while, which is a blessing in his opinion. He still avoids mirrors and windows where he could find any reflection, and he starts talking with Sarah non-stop, afraid that something would interrupt him or something.

Sarah just goes with it, answering every question, taking out girl-clothing for her baby and boy-clothing for Castiel’s. They find so many things, and they spend too much money on it, but in the end, Castiel’s sure it’s all worth it. After that, he and Sarah go for a drink in a nearby café; she gets a glass of orange juice and Castiel takes a hot cup of coco.

Never once does she mention Jimmy, and Castiel appreciates that.

When Sarah has to return home again, they part ways. They say goodbye with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, and eventually, Castiel walks back home with his bags.

Dean’s already inside when he arrives, and together they go through the clothing. Dean makes it obvious what he likes and what he never wants to see their son wearing. Castiel just pulls out his tongue at him in a playful way, and it ends up in a tickle fight.

The sound of a new Facebook message breaks their little moment, bringing them back to the real world. Castiel can feel all the color drain from his face as he recognizes the sound.

“Just ignore it, Cas,” Dean says. “If you don’t react to it, they can’t keep on doing it.”

And Castiel agrees, for now. He and Dean move to put the clothes in the little drawers of the closet they’ve chosen. And it should all be very peaceful and domestic, but instead Castiel can’t remove that low sinking in his stomach, or that cold breeze he’s feeling again.

And the sound keeps on going, one message after the other, reminding Castiel that, oh yeah, he’s going crazy because some person is messing with him.

When they’re back in the kitchen, the messages seem to have stopped. Castiel is now resting his head in his hands as he leans on the table. Dean is walking around, somehow keeping himself busy with things.

“I’m going to take out the trash, I’ll be back immediately,” Dean says all of the sudden, kissing Castiel’s neck lovingly. Castiel nods, waiting for Dean to go through the door until he finally gives in to his curiosity and walks back to the computer.

     _Have you finally arrived home?_

_Jimmy?_

_When you read this message, please contact me; once again, your cellphone is unreachable. You should do something about that._

_By the way, it’s also quite pathetic that the only way I can actually reach you these days is through this site. Weren’t you the one to say it’s just a way to get everybody addicted to the internet? Oh, the irony._

_Call me as soon as you can, Jimmy_

_Jimmy_

_Please stop_

_I called mother and she said you left at five. It’s now seven, so if this is a stupid prank I’ll tell you now it’s not funny. Pick up your phone or answer me right now!_

_Please stop_

_Cold._

_Jimmy_

_Jimmy_

_Please send me back_

_I don’t know what’s happening?_

_Cold_

_FREEZZZING_

It’s only then that Castiel hears Dean shouting from outside the house, slamming the door in full force. Castiel startles awake from his trance, shivering from the cold in the room, and starting to run to the front door.

“Dean?” Castiel calls out, and he tries the door knob only to find it shut.

“Cas! What’s going on?!” Dean shouts from outside the house. They’re both pushing and pulling at the door, trying to force the lock open, but the thing won’t budge.

“The door can’t just lock itself like that!” Castiel shouts back. Then he turns around, ignoring the jump in his heart when he sees Jimmy standing there in the room. “Jimmy, stop it,” he begs his dead brother, knowing very well that it’s him who’s doing this. Jimmy only shakes his head very slowly.

“Please Jimmy, Dean is your friend too, remember that?” he asks, knowing very well that he’s pleading. “Don’t shut him out, he’s as much a part of this as I am.”

Jimmy doesn’t move, but somehow the cold look in his eyes seem to soften. His face loses its tension, and then, in one expression of defeat, the door bursts open.

Dean literally falls inside, dropping on top of Castiel as he can’t keep his ground. The cold air from outside creeps in, and when Castiel looks up, Jimmy’s gone.

“What the hell was that?” Dean asks as he tries to catch his breath. Castiel can’t answer, but his eyes never leave the place where Jimmy had been standing.

 

March 17th

The second time Jimmy locks out Dean, it’s when Castiel’s in the bathroom. He was just getting ready for a shower, and then Jimmy suddenly appeared again. When Dean tried to get in, he couldn’t.

Eventually, Castiel once more pleads for Jimmy to let Dean go, and after a little while, he does.

March 20th

Castiel doesn’t mean to overhear Dean on the phone, he really doesn’t. But somehow, he can’t stop listening as Dean speaks. The man is in the kitchen, talking to his mother again, completely freaking out, and Castiel knows that somehow it’s his fault.

“I mean literally locked out! Like the door just slams in front of my face and how hard I try it just doesn’t open! It’s like this house is suddenly turning against me!”

A moment of silence as Mary speaks.

“Cas seems to get worse every day, mom. He’s not sleeping at all, he barely eats.”

Another silence.

“And I think that our heater is broken or something, the house gets randomly cold at times. I don’t know what it is.”

When Dean says that, he’s obviously shivering.

“What do you mean, flickering lights? Yeah, we had that, I just figured it was the lamp dying out on us really soon.”

“Mom, what are you talking about? Salt? Iron? You’re speaking nonsense.”

Castiel is on his way to join Dean into the kitchen. He’ll just pretend that he didn’t hear the conversation.

But as soon as he gets to the door, it closes in front of his face again.

“Goddammit, it’s happening again!” Dean shouts. “Cas?!”

“I’m here, Dean,” Castiel shouts, knocking on the door and trying to force the doorknob again. Like before, it isn’t working.

The flickering lights and the sudden temperature drop make it clear for Castiel that Jimmy is nearby again. He looks around, checking the room, but somehow he’s not there.

“Jimmy?” he asks, feeling stupid for calling out his dead brother’s name. But, despite the signs, Jimmy isn’t in the room. Castiel tries the bedroom, the bathroom, but nowhere, not even in any mirror can he find Jimmy.

When he hears Dean scream though, he understands. Jimmy’s been trying to get Dean away from Castiel all the time. Jimmy’s angry because Dean keeps on trying to remove any way of communication between the brothers. And somehow, he’s gone full on vengeful.

Castiel runs to the kitchen and throws his body against the door to try and break it open. It still doesn’t budge though, and he searches desperately for something to break it open with. Something sharp and strong.

He goes to the fireplace to pick up the poker, checking its strength before running back to the kitchen door. With all the strengths he has, he starts slamming the thing against the door, thinking apologies at the door as he breaks through the wood.

As soon as he’s made a hole that’s big enough for him to crawl through (the last few pieces he kicked through instead of slamming), he can see Dean standing, face crumbled in pain as Jimmy’s hand is going through his body and probably grabbing his heart.

“No!” Castiel shouts, swinging his weapon at Jimmy. To his surprise, the spirit suddenly disappears, literally going up in the air. Dean collapses to the floor as he gasps for breath.

“Dean?” Castiel asks, getting down next to Dean and checking his chest for any wounds. “What did he do?”

Coughing, Dean looks up at Castiel, hands weakly next to his resting body. “Aside from trying to rip my heart out, you mean?”

“This isn’t funny, Dean,” Castiel shouts back through his tears. He has been so close to losing Dean, all thanks to Jimmy. “We need to bring you to the hospital.”

“And tell them what? A ghost grabbed my heart?” Dean gets out, coughing a bit more. He rests his head back against the fridge and takes Castiel’s hand in his own. “I’ll be fine, Cas.”

Castiel nods as the tears stream down his face. If the sudden flickering lights are any indication, Jimmy’s back.

Castiel looks back up to find his twin brother standing there with a surprised expression. The ghost looks at his hands in horror, and when he wants to speak, he seems to choke.

“I know,” Castiel says to him, understanding the silent apology that comes through him. “Dean isn’t the bad guy here, Jim. He’s been taking care of me, you can’t blame him from trying to keep you away.”

Jimmy remains motionless as they look at each other.

“I-“ he finally gets out, but nothing more than that seems to work before he chokes again. Jimmy takes a deep fake-breath and tries again. “I j-just want to rest.”

Castiel’s heart breaks a little at hearing his brother speak again. New tears swell up in his eyes and he squeezes Dean’s hand, who squeezes right back.

When Jimmy turns to look back at Dean, Castiel can feel the tension between them. Dean doesn’t speak, and neither does Jimmy. They both understand. Jimmy apologizes, and Dean forgives him.

When the phone starts ringing again, Castiel grabs for it immediately. He opens the device, not even bothering to look what number it is, and puts it on speaker phone.

“Hello?” he asks, realizing his voice is hoarse.

_“Castiel? Dean? What happened? Is Jimmy still there?”_

“Jimmy’s still here,” Castiel says without removing his eyes from his twin brother. Jimmy doesn’t make any indication to move. “But he’s calmed down.”

The other line is silent for a moment.

“ _Castiel, do you know what needs to happen now?”_ Mary asks, and somehow, Castiel is able to connect the dots.

 _We should make a campfire next time,_ Jimmy had sent back at Ash’s place. The lighter he had led Castiel to.

“Fire,” he says, his eyes meeting Jimmy’s again. Jimmy already seems to know, and the spirit nods his agreement.

 _“Castiel, I know this might sound horrible, but Bill and I are at Jimmy’s grave right now, going to dig up his body. You might want to say goodbye before he’s gone completely,”_ Mary explains, and Castiel nods, biting his lips as another wave of tears passes him by. Next to him, somehow Dean has fallen into unconsciousness.

“Dean needs to go to the hospital,” Castiel gets out. “He’s been hurt and he’s knocked out.”

 _“Ellen is already on her way,”_ Mary assures him, and at that moment somebody’s breaking through the door. Castiel calls out Ellen’s name to let her know where he is, and when he sees the woman crawl through the broken door, he feel relieved.

Castiel helps Ellen to get Dean into her car. Jimmy offers his hand by unlocking the door again, making it easier to get him out of the room. Castiel promises he’ll follow them as soon as he can. Ellen nods at him, pressing a hand on his shoulder shortly before leaving as well.

Saying goodbye to Jimmy doesn’t have that many words. They just stand in the kitchen next to each other, eyes locked together. When Castiel opens up his arms, though, he almost expects Jimmy to pass right through him. He’s actually surprised to feel Jimmy’s body against his.

“What are you feeling?” Castiel asks.

“Pain. And cold. It never stops.” They hold on tight for a few more seconds, but then Mary’s voice comes through the phone again.

 _“It’s time, Castiel,”_ she says, and even though she can’t see it, Castiel nods. They pull apart at last, and then, slowly, Jimmy seems to catch on fire.

He doesn’t look pained though, more relieved. His whole body relaxes when bit by bit, he burns up. And when his face is at the point of disappearing as well, he throws Castiel one last look.

“See you in a lot of years,” he says, and then he’s gone.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

August 19th

“What do you mean, I can’t hold my son?” Dean asks, frowning at his mother as she holds up the little James.

“Dean Winchester, your hands are greasy and you’ll get him all dirty! Go wash yourself before you take this little angel.”

Everybody laughs as Dean pouts and makes his leave to the bathroom. It’s bad enough to be chastised by your mother in front of your husband, but in front of the whole family? Yeah, that must sting.

With it being Sarah’s birthday, they’ve all put up a big party to which everybody that is considered family is invited. John and Mary are there, currently holding their two grandchildren and playing around with them. Sarah is busy cutting the birthday cake she prepared for the party. Jo and Jason are in a heavy discussion with Bobby and Bill, and Ellen and Rachel just talk about the beautiful weather, ignoring everybody else.

Castiel can’t keep his eyes from little James, currently being lifted up in the air by Mary. (“Who’s a very beautiful boy? _Who’s_ a very beautiful boy?” she says in her baby-voice). It still feels weird to know that this little child is his son. Both his and Dean’s.

At this point, everybody is aware of the hunters in the world. Mary had explained everything about her past to them the moment Dean got released from the hospital (they said it was a heart attack). Bobby and Bill are still active hunters, but Mary is retired for a while now.

Somehow, Castiel has no trouble taking in all the information about the different monsters. He’s been living with his brother’s ghost for half a year, he can pretty much believe anything right now.

Since Jimmy has finally been put to rest, Castiel’s pain seemed to have lifted. His loss doesn’t weight as much as it had before, which is actually a big relief. Castiel still thinks about him, but now it’s all happy thoughts and no more sad memories.

At least he’s not suffering anymore.

And what happened to their Facebook profiles?

Ah, well… they all got rid of it in the end.

 

 

 

Ende

 

 

 

                  


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